Growing up in a small town, I couldn’t wait to get out and be on my own. I wanted to see the world, learn a dozen languages and change everything that was wrong with the world. I had all these big dreams and big plans. Oh, how plans can change. A year after I graduated high school and enlisted in the Air Force I was married and had my first child. Nineteen, young and in love. My little girl was only six weeks old when she went to daycare for the first time. And she was six and half years old when I finally gave up all those childhood dreams and made her dreams the most important thing in my world. When I was in the service I worked crazy hours. I had five daycare providers and managed to destroy that young love that my marriage was based on.
When you get that first taste of freedom from your parents everything is new and exciting. And then reality sets in. When there are bills to pay, diapers to change and a full time job to deal with love and understanding often take a back seat in the everyday scheme.
When I was young and working I used to laugh at stay at home moms. Women that dedicated their lives to home and family. I accused them of being lazy, undereducated and unmotivated. Now that I am a full time mom I realize that it is the most under appreciated job there is. I don’t get payed, often I go weeks without a thank you and when I meet new people and tell them what I do I get zero respect.
Society beats it into women that we need to have it all. Good husband, successful career and kids. It also tells to be involved in our husbands careers and our kids active lives. We are supposed to superwomen ALL THE TIME. What society doesn’t tell us is how exactly how we’re supposed to pull all of this off. If we are working full time in a competitive career field then you know we are putting in a lot more than 40 hours a week. If mom and dad are both working then when the school calls then who’s turn is it to explain to our boss that we need to leave AGAIN. When we as women are trying to “do it all” we never really do anything. Being pulled in to many directions we never have the time or the chance to really be good at any of it. We have mediocre careers and kids that feel neglected half the time. And when are we supposed to work romance into all of this?
On the other hand society doesn’t have the same expectations of men. All they are supposed to do is have a good job, bring home a pay check and that’s about it. Maybe some work in the yard or on the car, but nothing like what the world wants of us women.
I know that it’s not a popular opinion, but screw all that. More and more men and women are stressed, depressed and popping pills left and right, because they don’t feel good enough. Because of all the outside pressure telling them that they aren’t doing it the “right” way people are losing their minds.
So even though I spent my young life believing in being everything to everyone all the time. Now I have found happiness in being the best mom and wife I can be all the time. I never wonder who will be there when the school calls, because I know that it will be me. And for those of you that think it’s a nice life if you can get it, remember that when I was working I was paying so much in childcare that at the end of the week I was taking home less that $100.00. That little amount of money really wasn’t worth it.
So the next time you think less of a mom or dad that doesn’t do anything but be a supporting member of the household, remember that even the president needs a support staff and those guys get no glory and have the hardest jobs in the world. Being a full time parent and spouse it a lot like that. Not a whole lot in tangible rewards, but still a very important job to be done.
Love this.
ReplyDeletethanks meagan.
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